Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
