hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
