When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have post one night stand depression
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
