OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
