My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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