i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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