I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
