seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
