why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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