I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
