No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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