you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
