Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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