All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
