Whod you bang
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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