I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
