i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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