I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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