The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
