Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
