okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
it glows. i had to have it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
