If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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