enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
