he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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