She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
two words...techno handjob
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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