sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
This beer is not sobering me up at all
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
