So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
