i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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