you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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