I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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