i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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