but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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