The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
