TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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