did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
