Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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