How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
