You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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