Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
