so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
