I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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