I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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