so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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