Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Randomize
