Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
