I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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