i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
