also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
