And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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