Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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