I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
