Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
