i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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