y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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